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Odin’s Rage
BY ZEBULON CORK In a sandbox in suburban Toronto, little Godfrey Chalkwalk played with his Tonka trucks, dumping sand into the back of his dump truck, scooping sand with his backhoe, and repeatedly burying his bulldozer in the holes his backhoe created, as revenge for its constant plotting to break Godfrey’s knees. “Take that, Dozer!”…
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Fishing
BY ZEBULON CORK One day, little Tommy Borderstack was out fishing with his old man, when he felt his little miniature fishing line tremble. Tommy grabbed onto the rod, holding on for dear life, as he imagined what kind of glorious fish had nibbled on his hook. Could it be a great white shark? A…
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74,000 Bags of Coleslaw
BY ZEBULON CORK Ronnie DeCracko was enjoying a nice, light brunch when he heard a knock at the door. Frowning, Ronnie got up from his delicious brunch, took one last long whiff of his beautiful bacon, his sweet, sweet cantaloupe, his light, fluffy pancakes and his Venus flytrap smoothie, and walked over to the door.…
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Obligatory Donation
BY ZEBULON CORK Deep within the recesses of Yargoth School, an ancient ritual was being performed. Little kids were reciting corny poetry. Slightly bigger kids were singing cringeworthy renditions of classic rock tunes. And even bigger kids were butchering the most basic of band tunes, causing many an ear to bleed. Yes, it was time…
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Hurled Into the Heavens
BY ZEBULON CORK Father John P. Tillings had been a Catholic priest for nearly 40 years, but through all that time he still hadn’t come any closer to a true fellowship with the Lord. It’s not that he hadn’t had his moments of spiritual fulfillment. Far from it. From the time he’d baptized an angry…
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Richie’s Pet Iguana
BY ZEBULON CORK Larry Gobblebrook loved his son Richie. He loved him more than words could express. Every day since his son Richie’s glorious birth, he’d prayed to the Lord Jesus up high and thanked him for blessing him with such a beautiful boy. However, any time he thanked Jesus for that wonderful son of…
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